I’M IN MIAMI, TRICK!
Neon lights, minuscule bikinis and oversized sunglasses… Introducing Miami. And we thought Vegas was a head spinner! Actually, Miami is very similar to Vegas except black jack is replaced with the beach. Think Gold Coast on Chinese Olympic Swim Team Steroids and you might be close to getting the idea. Trashiness? Check. Overly tanned millionaires? Check. 6-inch Stilettos whilst wearing a micro bikini? Double Check. We had a good stint in Miami, a solid yet lazy 6 days… 2 of which were completely written off thanks to the Margerhitas that are literally bigger than cereal bowls. Everything in Miami is glittered, blinged up, oversized and glitzy. By far the best highlight was actually getting out of South Beach (locally referred to as SoBe) and driving ourselves down to Key Largo. Enter “Red Baron”. We hired possibly, no, definitely, the most hideous car on the rental lot and on the car market. It looked like the red box that a KFC 2 piece feed comes in, on wheels, aptly called the Nissan Cube. Not sure if it’s been named the Cube for it’s cube cabin or cube wheels. Or perhaps it is the fiercely embarrassing looks you get when racing alongside Hummers, Bentleys and Mercs – to the power of “cubed”. Whatever Nissan’s naming equation is derived from, we’re pretty sure that we laughed from A to B, right through to Z. This little weapon had less punch than Anthony Mundine but more heart than Oprah and took us 400 kilometres on less than $25 of fuel. Bless it. Enroute we sampled some famous local staples beside the iridescent waters including shrimp po boy, cajun fish burger and key lime pie at Robbie’s Marina. This super casual and internationally popular seaside shanty was a full house and had a fish feeding frenzy at our feet. The quirky open air bar is covered with defaced $1 bills all over the ceiling… An estimated 500 or so… Although they’re worth zilch due to their ‘perzonalisation’. We then rolled on further south to Sombrero Beach that we pretty much only had to share with a handful of others. Our finale consisted of a sunset picnic on the beach complete with a Nappa Valley Cab Sav. Its true what they say about the simple things.
WIN:
The bird that dropped one on Kez’s cheek whilst eating lunch.
FAIL:
The moles that laughed uncontrollably when the bird dropped one on Kez’s cheek whilst eating lunch. Divorce pending for said mole.
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